It's 9 a.m. on New Year's Eve day, and the anxiety of the coming year is starting to kick in. I'm starting to wonder just exactly what I am getting myself into. I shouldn't be concerned, I'm not one to sit and do nothing at all, I am always moving around and don't like being unproductive, but maybe the idea that I have deadlines is what is making me tense. I guess that's the whole point; give myself deadlines so I have no excuses and cannot be lackadaisy about things. I just hope I can measure up.
I hope I can fit everything in without sacrificing my time with my daughter. Although I'm quite sure a thinner, walking mommy would make her very happy.
I sometimes wonder if anyone is even reading this blog. I know a few people who are, but they are close to me in one way or another. I guess my words haven't spread to infect the masses quite yet, and I think that's good, but I wouldn't mind inspiring others either. It doesn't matter to me, I started this blog as an outlet for myself and will continue to express myself here whether or not anyone is paying attention.
I suppose the idea that I might actually accomplish something big like walking every day or losing this weight is scary too. Why I would be scared of doing good, I don't know, but sometimes I am. I have done it before; I've quit drinking after years of being a full-blown alcoholic... there's no reason I can't do these other things that are only going to be great for me.
I better stock up on Red Bull.
I know I get scared of good things coming because I'm unsure of the outcome. Like, if I'm thin will my husband still want me since he's only known me as a big woman. But fear of the unknown holds us in place and doesn't let us become the people we're meant to be. I'm behind you all the way Shannon!
ReplyDeleteYou are right, Wendy, and thank you for all of your continued support I don't think I've told you how much it means to me!
ReplyDelete