I quite literally have butterflies in my stomach as I write this. It's the start of a New Year, and for me, the beginning of a long and arduous journey. Both of my goals for this year are for the best, and once achieved will make me feel like people must feel when they climb Mount Everest or sail around the world, but I can't help but be nervous. The weight loss part isn't easy, but it's very doable, and the walking part is extremely difficult, but also very doable. I just get scared I'm not up for the challenge. A small part of me wonders if I can actually force myself to be so disciplined and strong every... single... day. Another part of me tells that part to stop whining and get to work!
I get very annoyed at people who complain. I have nothing but admiration for those who are dealt a shitty hand but remain positive and strong and do what's necessary without a whole lot of fanfare. I like to think I am one of those people, but sometimes I doubt even that. Even just writing in this blog I feel like some form of a whiner, and that kind of pisses me off. I know writing is cathartic, that's why I do it, but when does it go from cathartic to just plain pissing and moaning?
On that note, I am not here to whine or complain or be one of those people. I'm here for myself first and foremost so I have an outlet to express how I feel about all of this, and secondly, I'm here for anyone who needs a good kick in the ass to get started on anything they need to get started on to better themselves.
This year is going to be hard, but I want it to be. I want it to kick my ass and make me wish I had never drummed up this terrible idea to begin with. I'm not afraid of the work... I'm afraid to fail, but I guess that fear is what will propel me forward and keep me moving. I guess that's why I started this blog in the first place; to have a handful of people beyond the ones who are close to me that I don't want to let down.
So, today marks the first day of the rest of my life. It will be interesting to me to see what I am writing about on January 1, 2011.
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