Day 26

Day 26 already.  January is almost over.  Where does the time go?

I am still dragging my feet (so to speak) and trying to get my energy back.  Both my daughter and I have been sick, and it seems to just keep lingering on.  It is draining me of all my energy, and it's really getting annoying!  I know it is that time of the year, but enough is enough already.  I never get sick, and neither does she, but this year something got us good.

Last Friday was the last time I took any steps.  I did 183 and it was so hard, and so exhausting, I had to call it quits.  The rest of my weekend was a wash, although I did manage to do some cleaning and things around the house, I didn't do any walking aside from up and down my outside stairs.  I guess technically I could count those, but I haven't been, so I won't start now.

Today has been a bit better.  I have gotten some steps in (see below) and will continue to pick away at walking as the day goes on.  I am keeping my chair in the house and on-hand, just in case.  After the fall I took I am really scared to not have it around.  My knee and ankle are still sore, and my ankle still swells pretty badly by the end of the day, but they are healing nonetheless and that makes me happy.  I have been feeling like such a failure since I fell, but when you're sick and injured, you're sick and injured.  I have to keep reminding myself of that, but it's still difficult to deal with since I was on such a great path.  I know I will get back on that path, and with anything, healing takes time, but that doesn't stop me from being frustrated and angry at my setback.  It's hard to sit still when all I want to do is get up and walk, but I know I am limited.

I will get back on track, and when I do my injury will be a distant memory, but for now I'm pissed off.  One step forward, two steps back... that is what my nurses told me would happen.  Doesn't mean I have to be happy about it.

I guess it's a good thing I got so far ahead in my step count for this month because now I think I'm falling behind a bit and will have to get caught back up.  That shouldn't be too hard once I've got some energy back and my knee and ankle don't hurt quite so badly.  I'll be able to walk every day once again and the step count will just keep ticking away.  That is what I look forward to the most.

Update 1:18 PM

Good news for the day -- I just got on the weight machine, and out of curiosity tried the leg extension.  I have been able to do this in the past, with no weight, on the lowest tension (which works out to be about a few pounds).  When I have done it before, it has felt as hard as 200 lbs used to when my legs worked.  I could get in 2 sets of 10, but not without tremendous struggle.  So today, I climbed onto the machine, got into position, made sure the weight and tension were set right, and proceeded to grit my teeth and give it my all thinking it was going to be as hard as before.  Well... you know when you go to pick up a 5-gallon bucket of paint and you think it's full, and it's not, and the bucket shoots up in the air and you almost fall from the momentum you created preparing for it to be heavy?  That's the same thing that happened to me on the leg extensions.  My legs shot up in the air as if there wasn't any weight or resistence at all.  I pumped out the first set of 10 reps like they were nothing, and in the process started crying at the realization I am truly getting stronger.

It hasn't felt like I've been getting stronger these past couple of weeks because I've been down with my injury, but today I proved that to be false.  My largest muscle groups are actually gaining in strength, and my once sour mood has turned back to feeling very positive that I will walk again unassisted one day, and maybe even one day soon!

Now I am off to try my exercise bike and see if I can do more minutes than before.

4 minutes riding stationary bike (all legs)
2 sets of 10 reps Leg Extensions

Step count today:  273
Left to go:  93,353