Changing

My previous post, and posts from another blog I've been reading today, have made me think back to the changes I've gone through in my life so far.

"The path I'm on, the path to real self-discovery is making me realise I've given away parts of my soul, and have done it too often."

-- Creating My Own Empire

Maybe during our younger years we mold and shape ourselves so much to please others that by the time we are older we have changed so much we don't recognize who we are anymore, or remember who we once were.

Sometimes I can totally remember who I was, and other times I feel a bit lost and as if the old me is too long gone.

Maybe our lives are a series of 180-degree turns in which we go back and forth trying to figure out who it is we really want to be, or maybe we are born who we are going to be our whole lives, but people and forces try to change us and mold us only to be unsuccessful and make us more guarded and closed off.  Afterall, haven't we always been taught you can't change someone?

I have felt myself change in ways I thought I could never undo. 

Ultimately I know exactly who I am, it's just a matter of finding my way back.  Emotional recovery is just as difficult and traumatic as physical recovery, but it too can be done. 

I don't want to return to being young and naive and easily hurt, but I would like to have that freshness back.  That willingness to try just about anything and have a great time doing it.  The abandon I felt when I was able to jump right in with both feet and not once think about the consequences. 

Ya, that would be nice.