I've been thinking a lot today about lost loves. Those people in my life who made an impact on me in their own way, who are now gone. That includes my dog, Bruno. My animals become more like people to me than actual people.
Anyway, my thoughts go deep, and my love for these people even deeper. It is approaching a year since my friend Susan passed from cancer, and I feel like I miss her more now than I did a year ago. Every time I think of her, I cry. The tears just flow, uncontrollably. She meant a lot to me, and she was a very important pillar in my life at a time when I really needed one. I just think she would be so proud of me if she knew how far I've come with my walking. I wish she were physically here so I could show her. I don't know what's out there after we go, and I would swear she has visited me and told me she is OK, but I wish she were here so I could look her in the eyes and tell her it was in large part she who got me off my ass and trying, and she didn't push, she was just my friend. A true friend. I miss her.
Soon it will be a full year since I began this journey, and I am quite obviously stronger and can see the changes in my body. It's remarkable, actually. Some days I can't even believe it's real, or that the twelve years I spent sitting in a wheelchair are real, either. I try not to dwell on the idea that I quite possibly could have done this a lot sooner and would already be walking and healed, so I just focus on the fact that at least I finally did something. There is no turning back now.
In memory of those who have graced my life with love, and are no longer with us, I will be getting a tattoo on my back with all their names, and I will get this tattoo on the date Susan died one year ago today.
Dale Peterson * Charles Reiners * Daniel Secore * Ryan Riggle * Jim Blick * Bruno "The Big Feet" * Susan Furlan
