Day 249

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face today if I tried.  Even though today is one of those "off" days where my legs just don't really wanna cooperate, and each step is like I'm starting from square one.

Nope, not gonna make my smile disappear, sorry!

Step count today:  702

Steps I'm ahead:  11,042

Day 248: Happy Labor Day!

Dedicated to the man in my life.



Step count today: 842

Steps I'm ahead: 10,614

Day 246: Never, Ever Give Up!

I was able to take my over-ground walker to the trail today, and I managed to walk about a third of it.  That's not the whole trail like I had planned, but it's a start.  It added up to a thousand steps, which is more than I have been taking in an entire day.  Between the Florida heat, and the fact that I didn't eat properly before I left, I just didn't want to take any chances on hurting myself because I'm stubborn.  By the time I got back to the car and had to navigate the downhill slope, I was in excruciating pain, so it's probably best I only did what I did anyway.

That trail will be my measure of progress from here on.  I know how far I was able to walk before sitting, and how far I was able to go before heading back to the car.  Let's hope each time I go I can push it a little further.

Day 246

If my "over ground" walker fits in the car's trunk, I am going to attempt walking the 1/3 mile trail at the park today.  I would take the walker I've been using (plain aluminum with front casters), but my "over ground" walker has a seat where I can sit if I get tired, and four large wheels that can navigate almost any terrain.  Since I will not have a wheelchair to sit in, I need something just in case I get too fatigued.  I can't chance another fall, I've come so far I would really be upset if I got set back again.

Every morning when I wake up, I have to sit on the edge of my bed and prepare myself for the day to come.  My legs need a few minutes to wake up, and then I am ready to start the day.  I dread that first moment when I have to stand up, it's one of the hardest times of my day.  Today, however, I stood up so easily that I instantly got teary-eyed and couldn't believe the progress in that area in such a short period of time. 

My bed sits on the floor, I do not have a frame under it, so it is quite low to the ground which makes it a lot harder to get out.  I did this on purpose, initially because it was easier to transfer from my wheelchair to the bed at that height, but now I leave it that way to make things harder for myself.  Each and every time I stand up out of that bed, my legs really have to work.  It's certainly paying off!

My daughter told her friend yesterday, "my mommy doesn't need to use her wheelchair anymore!"  Whatever pain and suffering I have to go through is all worth it just to know my daughter is proud of me.


Step count today:  1,473

Steps I'm ahead:  9,595

Day 245: Happy Looks Good on Me!

I am happy.  Those three words have escaped me for many years, and I can finally say them with meaning.

And I must say, happy looks damn good on me!


Step count today:  791

Steps I'm ahead:  8,396

Day 244

Today is a good day.  I still hurt all over in my legs, and especially my knees, but I just keep thinking about how badly my arms hurt when they first came back and that puts a smile on my face.  Now, my arms are stronger than some men!

Step count today:  826

Steps I'm ahead:  7,879

Day 243: Five Weeks!

Today marks five weeks with no wheelchair!  Five weeks I have been walking with a walker, and I am getting stronger!

I can really feel a difference in my legs with each step I take.  It still hasn't quite sunk in that I might someday be walking somewhat normal again, but I think that's just the pessimist in me not wanting to count her chickens before they hatch. 

I am getting stronger.  It's almost unbelievable that I am able to say those words.  I still have my days when it seems like it's taking so long, and there is so much pain, that I have to remind myself how far I've come.  Then there are days like today when I'm an emotional wreck because I just can't believe how much I am progressing in such a short period of time.  I can't believe it took me this long to try, and now I am getting better.  I just can't believe it.

Step count today:  936

Steps I'm ahead:  7,327