Spasms, Spasticity, and Pain

I recently posted about Chamomile and it's benefits for muscle spasms, but today, I don't think there is a drug out there (except maybe something to completely knock me out) that could help with what I'm going through.

I have my good days, and my bad, just like with any other kind of recovery or rehabilitation, and I fully expect them, but some days I just want to chop my legs right off - like today. It's a common issue with neurological problems that we get what's called spasticity. When this happens we can actually feel stronger and walk/move with a little more strength. What happens is the muscles contract continuously - like when you stretch a really good stretch and your muscles kind of tighten up and it feels kinda painful but good all at the same time - that's what happens to me all day long. Like stretching a rubber band to its full potential and leaving it that way.

I have learned to deal with it over the years, and although it hurts, it does kind of feel good at the same time. It burns, like I'm sitting on something that is too hot or something is on my legs that is hot, but it does give me a little added strength when it occurs. At the same time, it makes walking more dangerous because it severely diminishes my already slow response time.

Basically it's a huge annoyance that has a few good qualities, and today it's really bugging me. I just want it to go away. I want it all to go away. That's the big issue with something like this is the pain level is just high enough to make things hurt a lot more when you do them - like walking.

I have heard that people who are in pain constantly but learn to deal with it can slowly go insane. No wonder why I'm crazy.