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Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Day 6
I woke up feeling a little tired, a lot sore, and a lot sluggish - and I had only gotten 100 steps in yesterday. It always takes my legs an hour at least to "unclench"... for lack of a better term. They get tight, and in the morning don't even want to bend. So I slothed around making my coffee, letting the dog out, feeding the fish, until I finally sat down at my computer to start the day.
And then I watched the video below.
Someone following my blog sent me that video, and after watching it I was bawling like a little baby. That video is a very real reminder that there are others with a much bigger struggle ahead of them, and a much bigger fight in them. I am positively blown away. The courage and determination they possess -- there just aren't enough words to describe it. I have been where they are, much worse than I am now, so I know what it takes to get up and do something like that in front of so many people. I know where that drive comes from, and somewhere along the way I forgot. Seeing those brave souls has brought it all back. What am I doing sitting here when I could be up walking around? Is it difficult, yes, is it possible, YES, should I be doing it every single day without question, HELL YES!
Even when you feel like you're doing all you can and working hard, something comes along to make you feel like you could be doing so much more. That video did it for me.
Update: 2:19 P.M.
After doing my dishes and things I haven't quite figured out how to do without the chair yet, I ditched the chair for the walker, put my walking shoes on, and have been walking ever since. This should be a big step-count day!
Update: 5:21 P.M.
Well, thanks to a wonderful and giving young woman, I am now the proud owner of a Omron HJ-112 Digital Pocket Pedometer. Now instead of constantly counting my steps in my head I can concentrate more on walking and let the pedometer do the counting for me! Thanks Wendy!!
So I did quite a bit of walking today. After ditching my chair and forcing myself to use the walker, I really was able to get a lot of good steps in, and I was even able to do some standing for 5 or 10 minutes while doing dishes or just cleaning up a bit. It really felt good to walk so much and I can feel my legs getting stronger.
Step count today: 397
98,896 to go
And then I watched the video below.
Someone following my blog sent me that video, and after watching it I was bawling like a little baby. That video is a very real reminder that there are others with a much bigger struggle ahead of them, and a much bigger fight in them. I am positively blown away. The courage and determination they possess -- there just aren't enough words to describe it. I have been where they are, much worse than I am now, so I know what it takes to get up and do something like that in front of so many people. I know where that drive comes from, and somewhere along the way I forgot. Seeing those brave souls has brought it all back. What am I doing sitting here when I could be up walking around? Is it difficult, yes, is it possible, YES, should I be doing it every single day without question, HELL YES!
Even when you feel like you're doing all you can and working hard, something comes along to make you feel like you could be doing so much more. That video did it for me.
Update: 2:19 P.M.
After doing my dishes and things I haven't quite figured out how to do without the chair yet, I ditched the chair for the walker, put my walking shoes on, and have been walking ever since. This should be a big step-count day!
Update: 5:21 P.M.
Well, thanks to a wonderful and giving young woman, I am now the proud owner of a Omron HJ-112 Digital Pocket Pedometer. Now instead of constantly counting my steps in my head I can concentrate more on walking and let the pedometer do the counting for me! Thanks Wendy!!
So I did quite a bit of walking today. After ditching my chair and forcing myself to use the walker, I really was able to get a lot of good steps in, and I was even able to do some standing for 5 or 10 minutes while doing dishes or just cleaning up a bit. It really felt good to walk so much and I can feel my legs getting stronger.
Step count today: 397
98,896 to go
Quote of the Day
"The greatest gift is not in never falling, but in rising every time you fall." ~ Confucius
Need Some Motivation?
These people define the words "never give up" --
If I don't get up and walk at least 500 steps today I'm a total failure.
Watching that video made me feel lazy.
Wow!
If I don't get up and walk at least 500 steps today I'm a total failure.
Watching that video made me feel lazy.
Wow!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Day 5
I'm not a big pill popping kind of person. Even after months in the hospital and tremendous pain, I begged my doctor to help me wean myself off all the garbage they had me taking. Sometimes, however, I wish I had just one or two pain pills to get me through nights and mornings like these.
Last night, after walking my steps for the day and settling in to relax before bed, the pain kicked in. I just block it out and go on with my business, but no matter how much I try to ignore it, it's still there. I have gotten used to being in pain, that's a daily occurence and it's not if I'm in pain, it's at what level. I'm not one of these people who moans and groans with every ache and pain... if I did, that's all I would do, but some days I just want to scream into a pillow, or pound on a punching bag, or something to make it go away, even if just for a minute of peace.
Most people don't realize I'm in pain, or how much I'm in, because I never mention it. It's not as if I have some horrible gaping wound that is obvious it hurts. I'm not going to spend my days whining about it either, that only makes the people around me uncomfortable and won't help me in any way. I may be a lot of things, but a whiner isn't one of them.
I've learned all kinds of tricks to manage the pain. Ibuprofen helps a lot. I try not to take that too often either, but on nights like last night, and mornings like this one, sometimes it's nice just to take the edge off.
What kind of pain is it, you ask? Well, since you asked. Imagine sitting in a pot of boiling lava. That's the only way I can describe it. The muscles buuuurrrrrnnnnnnnn. Actually, maybe it isn't the muscles so much as the nerves, but who's keeping track, it's all pain to me. I also get the usual aches and pains in my back and my joints, but those are all masked by the overwhelming burning sensation, and it's from my rib cage down. Lovely.
So, now that I've vented about all that, I've never let it stop me before and I won't now. Nobody said it would be easy, and like my favorite line in a movie goes, "It has to hurt if it's to heal..."
(Name that movie)
Update: 12:50P.M.
I have spent most of the morning on this forum – Success Vibe – and must admit I think I’ve made some new “friends”. I put that in quotes only because I have not met these people in person as of yet, but I certainly hope to in the future. For now, there are some really great folks over there, with some really great thoughts and ideas, and tremendous willingness for support.
If I was waning in the slightest in my resolve to accomplish my goals, I am no longer. I’ve always known that the positive reinforcement of others can propel us forward, but I got so used to the negative from my past that I forgot for a while. It’s interesting to me how chatting with so-called strangers has felt more rewarding than some of the times I hung out with so-called friends.
It is really shaping up to be a great day, and week. I know it’s only Tuesday, but we all know how fast time flies and before I know it I’ll be stepping on the scale holding my breath that I can show some results. I know I’ll show results, hard work always pays off.
I will be venturing outside for some steps today. I plan to pick my daughter up from school and my outside chair is in the bed of my truck in the garage. This means I must walk to it. I’m looking forward to it for the first time. I’m feeling stronger in my ability to walk and not as scared to fall. I don’t often get outside to walk for safety reasons, but it will be something I will need to transition to if I plan to continue my rehab on a somewhat normal scale. Afterall, getting back to all the things I used to do is the most important part of rehab anyway.
Wish me luck.
Step count today: 100
99,293 to go.
Last night, after walking my steps for the day and settling in to relax before bed, the pain kicked in. I just block it out and go on with my business, but no matter how much I try to ignore it, it's still there. I have gotten used to being in pain, that's a daily occurence and it's not if I'm in pain, it's at what level. I'm not one of these people who moans and groans with every ache and pain... if I did, that's all I would do, but some days I just want to scream into a pillow, or pound on a punching bag, or something to make it go away, even if just for a minute of peace.
Most people don't realize I'm in pain, or how much I'm in, because I never mention it. It's not as if I have some horrible gaping wound that is obvious it hurts. I'm not going to spend my days whining about it either, that only makes the people around me uncomfortable and won't help me in any way. I may be a lot of things, but a whiner isn't one of them.
I've learned all kinds of tricks to manage the pain. Ibuprofen helps a lot. I try not to take that too often either, but on nights like last night, and mornings like this one, sometimes it's nice just to take the edge off.
What kind of pain is it, you ask? Well, since you asked. Imagine sitting in a pot of boiling lava. That's the only way I can describe it. The muscles buuuurrrrrnnnnnnnn. Actually, maybe it isn't the muscles so much as the nerves, but who's keeping track, it's all pain to me. I also get the usual aches and pains in my back and my joints, but those are all masked by the overwhelming burning sensation, and it's from my rib cage down. Lovely.
So, now that I've vented about all that, I've never let it stop me before and I won't now. Nobody said it would be easy, and like my favorite line in a movie goes, "It has to hurt if it's to heal..."
(Name that movie)
Update: 12:50P.M.
I have spent most of the morning on this forum – Success Vibe – and must admit I think I’ve made some new “friends”. I put that in quotes only because I have not met these people in person as of yet, but I certainly hope to in the future. For now, there are some really great folks over there, with some really great thoughts and ideas, and tremendous willingness for support.
If I was waning in the slightest in my resolve to accomplish my goals, I am no longer. I’ve always known that the positive reinforcement of others can propel us forward, but I got so used to the negative from my past that I forgot for a while. It’s interesting to me how chatting with so-called strangers has felt more rewarding than some of the times I hung out with so-called friends.
It is really shaping up to be a great day, and week. I know it’s only Tuesday, but we all know how fast time flies and before I know it I’ll be stepping on the scale holding my breath that I can show some results. I know I’ll show results, hard work always pays off.
I will be venturing outside for some steps today. I plan to pick my daughter up from school and my outside chair is in the bed of my truck in the garage. This means I must walk to it. I’m looking forward to it for the first time. I’m feeling stronger in my ability to walk and not as scared to fall. I don’t often get outside to walk for safety reasons, but it will be something I will need to transition to if I plan to continue my rehab on a somewhat normal scale. Afterall, getting back to all the things I used to do is the most important part of rehab anyway.
Wish me luck.
Step count today: 100
99,293 to go.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Quote of the Day
“If you think you can, you can… if you think you can’t, you can’t… and either way you’ll prove yourself right.” (Henry Ford)
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