Mt. Everest

I'm officially nervous and I think my stomach has turned itself inside out.  Two days and 22+ hours from now I will be on a plane headed to Minnesota; chair-less. 

The palms of my hands are beginning to chafe, and I'm hoping this will callous up in a day or two.  If not, I may have to bring out my ugly gloves.  Without my hands I don't have much left to get me around.

I can remember when I could have thrown a few clothes into a duffel bag and flown off to wherever I wanted, no planning necessary.   Those days are long gone.

This expedition I am taking, I am comparing to what it must feel like when someone prepares to climb Mt. Everest.  I might not be climbing 29,035 ft., but it's probably going to feel like it just with more oxygen.

This is my Everest.  I've climbed the bridge at the park and labeled that my Everest, but I'm officially claiming this trip as my Everest.  The work, and planning, and focus it will take to pull this off deserve nothing less.

I'm facing two weeks of doing everything differently.  I will no longer have the security of "oh I'll just take my chair".  Long distances are going to give me a pit in my stomach and a bead of sweat on my brow.  Every time I step out of my car at a rest area I'm going to be mentally sizing up how far I will have to walk before I can use the bathroom.  Every hotel is going to be a challenge if they can't get me a room close enough to where I park.  Everything I do from the moment I leave that chair behind is going to be nothing less than hard work. 

Imagine facing Everest for the first time...  Exactly.

Can I do this?  Will my arms and my hands hold out for that amount of walking?  My arms are very strong, but in different ways than using a walker.  My arms are used to pushing a chair forward, not pushing down on a walker repeatedly.  Will I have to walk somewhere far and not be able to make it due to fatigue in my arms and legs?  Or more appropriately, fatigue in my entire body.

I'm about to find out.

These are just a few of the questions that have been swarming my brain the past few days.  The closer it gets to "go" time, the more questions arise.  Scenarios just present themselves in my head and the anxiety inevitably follows.  It's like a form of torture.

I'm scared.  I'm excited.  I'm confident.  I'm determined.  I'm ready.

One step at a time. 

Only time will tell how capable I am of pulling off such a monumental feat.  I know in my heart of hearts I can do this, and I will do this, but it's going to take every last drop of stubborn energy I have -- and then some.

Day 205

Step count today:  292

Steps I'm behind:  3,226

Rocky

Tennis balls on a walker are common. They protect floors, help the non-wheeled legs move better, etc. Rather than look like I'm 80 years old with my walker and bright green tennis balls, I bought these zebra-striped balls. I figure if people are going to stare anyway, I may as well give them something silly to look at. 

I also have a pair of giraffe-printed balls as backup for when these wear out.

Oh, and Rocky is the name I've given my walker.  I don't know why.

Prove It

Flashback Friday: Prove It

This is just another great post from Gitzen Girl that I had to share.  The concept of a fortune coming at just the right time is something that I am quite familiar with.  I had almost the exact same thing happen to me, and it spurred me on and really made me start trying hard to walk again.

My mom and I were out to lunch at our favorite cheap and greasy chinese buffet.  We started talking about our lives and what was new, and I mentioned to her I had been walking more and was planning to really give it my all, finally.  She was of course supportive and very excited.  When our fortunes came we did our usual "dance of the cookies" to mix them up and move them around before we pick, and my mother always gets to go first.  Once she had opened and read hers, it was my turn, and this is what mine said:

"It doesn't take guts to quit"

That was it, that did it.  I have been busting my hump ever since, and anytime I get tired and just "don't wanna" I remember that fortune (which I still have in my wallet) and I get off my ass and walk.

Inspiration

  Just when we think we've got it bad and things are hard in our life, someone comes along to prove otherwise. I stumbled on this woman's blog, read three posts, and I'm floored.  What an incredible story and life she lives.  What an incredible person.  What an inspiration. Gitzen Girl If you need a fire lit under you, go read some of her words and you'll be moved to tears, and then moved to go outside and smell the air.

Day 204 - 3 Days Left!

O... M... G...

OK, now I'm starting to get a little nervous. 

I can do this.  I'm strong.  I will be fine.  (those are my newest mantras, and although obvious, still need to be repeated to calm my nerves)

My bag is packed and I'm ready to go. 



Step count today:  547

Steps I'm behind:  3,244

I Wear Men's Pyjamas

On a search for the perfect pair of PJ's to take on my trip, I scoured Walmart's women's section for what felt like hours until I finally had a light bulb go off -- the men's section!

I am quite tall (6') and have very long legs.  I like my pj's to be all the way to the floor, and finding that in women's in Walmart is like, well, impossible.  Almost feeling petite for a minute, I picked up a soft pair of men's knit pants and a big oversized t-shirt.  Once home I washed and dryed (big mistake) them.  Long story short, the pants are too short (pun intended).

I text my daughter to tell her the great news and this was her reply:  "That's really sad when they are men's PJ's and still too short.  You big Ogre."

Poetic.