Florida Sunset

An older post, and one of the only things I miss about living in Florida; the sunsets.

Honeymoon Island, FL

I'm Just Walkin' - A Friend's Blog

Some time ago (so long I can't quite remember exactly), Matt embarked on a journey across the USA on foot!  That's right, on foot!  I followed his journey and made comments along the way, and in doing so formed a sort of distant kinship with him.  We sometimes contact one another just to check in, in fact there is a post on my blog about the last time we talked that you can read here.

Ironically, today I decided to head over to his blog to check on him and see how his next journey was coming along, and his last post was today after not posting for quite a while!  It's quite the coincidence!

Anyway, I wanted to share his blog with you, which you can check out here, and I think it would be in your best interest to check out his latest map of the progress he's made.  He has logged over 7,000 miles in NYC walking every street in every block in every borough!  It's really a fantastic story, and he's an amazing person from what I know of him so far.

I hope to maybe meet Matt someday, but until then I will keep checking back to see how he's progressing.

Inspiration

  Just when we think we've got it bad and things are hard in our life, someone comes along to prove otherwise. I stumbled on this woman's blog, read three posts, and I'm floored.  What an incredible story and life she lives.  What an incredible person.  What an inspiration. Gitzen Girl If you need a fire lit under you, go read some of her words and you'll be moved to tears, and then moved to go outside and smell the air.

It's My Blog and I'll Cry If I Want To

Sometimes it's hard to be sunny and cheery, especially when outside forces insist on ruining what was starting off as a perfectly good day.

People suck.

I spend my days working hard at being positive and doing the right thing.  I don't ask anyone for anything.  So why then do people still insist on making my life a living hell just because they can?  I'll never learn the answer to that question as long as I live.

I spent a large portion of my life being controlled like a puppet on a string, and it seems those puppeteers just keep trying to reattach those strings.  I am much stronger than that, so it will never happen again, but it's still a frustration.  Why bother?  Just leave me alone.  I'm doing just fine right where I am, doing what I'm doing.

Go away.

When did I give the impression I am unable to take care of myself or that I am too stupid to figure things out on my own?  When in my life did I let on that I am unable to be my own person and make my own decisions?  The keyword being my decisions.  Mine in that they are mine, I own them, I make them for a reason, and those reasons, although really none of anyone's business but my own, are good reasons.  Every decision I make is well thought out, made by me and only me, and not influenced by anyone, finally.  Decisions that will make my life better in some way, and ones that will have a positive impact on my future.  So tell me again why you can't just leave me be?

Control.

What makes one person so obsessed with controlling another?  When there are no blood ties, no rings on fingers, and no financial or substantial connections, why is it so necessary to care so deeply what the other person does with his/her life?  I truly believe it is an issue of control and the lack of it.  Where there once was a dynamic in which one person had almost total control over another, and now doesn't, I believe that creates a void in the controller (puppeteer) which they feel needs to be filled once again.

Not.  Going.  To.  Happen.

And I'm not sorry.

This time in my life is a crucial one.  I am on the path to walking again.  Everything I do revolves around my recovery.  In the past, I allowed myself to be weak and vulnerable, and I gave in to natural urges that ultimately got me nowhere.  I self-medicated.  I gave in to giving up.  I failed.

I will never fail again.

To me failure does not lie in not reaching a goal; it's in not trying.  You can't do anything if you don't try, and when you try, and I mean really give it your all, that's success.

This is my freedom we are talking about.  My independence.  A normal way of life.

Perhaps that is the issue.  My independence is a threat to those who want me kept down.  I get it now.

Too effing bad.

What I do with my life, is my life, get over it. 

Some people find it necessary to make other people's lives their business and all about them.  I find it necessary to make my life my business and all about me.

I am stubborn and strong and have been given the opportunity to really work hard at getting my legs back.  Nothing and nobody will stand in the way of that ever again.

Day 148

I took the past couple of days off of walking.  To be honest, I just didn't want to, and I needed the rest.  My legs have been screaming at me, and I know when to listen.

I am sure that most of you have heard about Matt, the man who quit his job to go "walkabout" across the US from New York to Oregon, but just in case you've just come out from under your rock:

http://www.imjustwalkin.com/

Most people only dream of doing something like what Matt is doing.  I am one of them.  I think his journey is amazing, and I only wish I had the ability to do the same.  The sites he has seen, and the people he has encountered, are incredible.  I'm just blown away by the whole thing.  If I had the resources, I would travel to him and walk beside him as long as I could.

So, after staying up until the wee hours of the morning reading every post and looking at every picture Matt has posted along his journey so far, I am now filled with wanderlust.  The best I can do to cure it is walk in my home and add to my step count, then maybe hit the park later for some much needed cardio.

Step count today:  520

Steps I'm behind:  7,064

Day 141

After walking 1,103 steps yesterday, my left hip is hurting me a bit today.  I also suffered with a terrible leg spasm all -- night -- long.  My left leg spasmed hard, and quite painfully, from the time I laid down until the time I got up in the morning.  I'm sure it's just the extra movement, or it's pissed off, or whatever.  All I know is it was painful, I couldn't sleep, and it was terribly annoying.

So today I thought I would take it a bit easier in the step department, although I don't seem to be doing that as of yet.

Step count today:  713

Steps I'm behind:  6,624

My Custom Tee

You can wear the same t-shirt I do when I walk or workout.  Help support my cause!  Click here!

Quote of the Day

"Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure."  ~Napoleon Hill

Day 54

Step count today:  162

Quote of the Day

"Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of." ~ Benjamin Franklin

Quote of the Day

"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."

~ Albert Einstein

Wow. Just, Wow!

This is an amazing story of determination and struggle:

Paralyzed Motocross Racer Walks By Sheer Willpower

Give 'er hell!

Quote of the Day

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."   ~Anonymous

"And on the seventh day, He rested."

Resting: Something I am not real familiar with, I am usually go, go, go. Since I've been working a lot harder at walking again and really taxing my body, I have been doing a lot more reading, and what I have read so far, and pretty much everywhere, is that I need to rest. I always knew the body needed rest, that's why we sleep at night, but apparently I need actual rest days... whole days in which I allow my body to heal and repair and build.

These past two days that is exactly what I did. I didn't do a whole lot else besides rest, and now today I am ready to get back at it. My legs are tight and sore and have that spastic feel to them, but I use this to my advantage as it helps me in my therapy.  The spasticity is a false sense of added strength for a little while, like a new rubber band that is still tight and hard to stretch, it's strong.  They hurt and burn and feel like an alien part of my body instead of a natural part of it, but that's all part of the healing process.

So on my agenda for today is to ride my exercise bike and walk.  I should probably try for at least 500 steps.  I guess I will see how I feel when I actually stand on these sticks that feel like hot pokers attached to my hips.









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Today - Saturday, September 5, 2009

Today I awoke very sore from yesterday.  Yesterday I climbed my bridge at my favorite park.  This bridge crosses the creek that runs through the expanse of the park.  Heading South the bridge has three wooden ramps which lead to an arch at the very top of the bridge.  Heading North in the opposite direction there are four wooden ramps.  The first time I attempted to climb this bridge, using just the hand rail and a crutch in my other hand, I was barely able to climb the first ramp before I was completely out of gas and had to sit down.  I didn't feel I had it in me to attempt any more that day.  The second time I climbed it I was able to do one more ramp, for a total of two, and the third time three ramps total. Finally, about two weeks later, I returned to my personal Mount Everest and I was able to climb to the top on both sides, first climbing the side that heads south, and then using my chair to wheel the trail, subsequently returning to climb the side that heads north, all the way to the top, for a total of seven ramps. 

Now, yesterday, about two weeks since the last time I climbed my seven ramps, I returned yet again to my Mount Everest and climbed the whole bridge again, this time much more quickly and with less effort than any other time before.  This just goes to show what sheer determination will get you.

Today I washed my truck.  Usually I will wash it in my wheelchair, standing only to hit the high points, but using the chair the entire time.  Today I washed it using my walker.  I have a walker with a little seat on it so I can sit when I get tired, so I would wash a large section, sit for a second to rinse it, and then continue on washing the rest.  I washed the whole truck this way only using the chair for the real low points that are too hard to bend down to reach.

I am making progress by leaps and bounds.  Something I NEVER thought was possible.  It's so wonderful it doesn't even seem real.